My experience of the support from the perinatal mental health team began after the birth of my second child.
After previous miscarriages and then a difficult labour, as my son was in distress, he was born by emergency Caesarean Section and needed some support to take his first breath.
After four months of masking that everything was fine and I was coping, my life completely fell apart! I suffered what was first thought of as a ‘catatonic depressive episode’. My body stopped functioning and I was hospitalised. A bed was available at Brockington Parent and Baby Unit in Stafford, where I stayed for 3 months.
Stepping into Brockington was terrifying! Once I settled, the support was like a strong, warm and secure embrace. Brockington looked nothing like your typical hospital ward. It was cosy and welcoming, not unlike a home environment, with the additional reassurance of a full team of experienced staff on hand to support me around the clock! During my early days on Brockington, life was a little blurry and I wasn’t open to needing support. Intrusive thoughts were hugely distressing, with ideas of how quick and easy it would be to inflict damage on my baby or myself. Yet I wasn’t alone or judged during these dark times. I felt seen, heard, and most importantly, through talking to others and relating to their experiences, I felt understood. Eventually the access to the friendly and knowledgeable team equipped me with the vital confidence I needed in bonding and caring for my child and accepting I needed support to make changes.
The whole environment of an MBU is initially daunting with restrictions and regular observations. However they are designed to re-establish a sense of normality and control for a new Mum, no matter whether you have had other children previously. At Brockington each day brought with it a gentle routine. I was fully responsible for the care of my little boy, changing and feeding him, doing washing, bathing him, playing with him in the living-room area and the baby sensory-room and eventually taking part in activities organised by the staff. When he napped, I learnt the importance of taking some time for myself. I was able to read, journal, colour, do crafts or watch TV. We did baby massage classes, pram walks, music classes and even went swimming at a local leisure-centre.
A relationship which particularly stands out was with the Occupational Therapist, Sam. The OT really took the time to listen and understand my individual circumstances – my thoughts, family dynamics, home environment, my personality, likes and and dislikes, worries and concerns as well as my hopes for the future. She emphasised many useful suggestions and was always a listening ear. On my return home, the journey was to find a balance which worked for the whole family unit.
MBUs have only a small number of rooms to ensure peace and calm for babies and mums, and during my stay on the unit, mums formed strong, mutually supportive bonds. I found that despite differences we shared an instinctive, wordless understanding. There was also never pressure to socialise or 'fit in', and my room was a safe retreat whenever I felt in need of alone-time.
I would encourage anybody embarking on their journey at Seren Lodge to embrace it as a fresh beginning. I credit the insight into myself and the precious bond I now enjoy with my son. I appreciate the excellent care I received at Brockington, which was my island in a storm.
I am incredibly proud to be in a position where I can help others to feel comfortable seeking support and help and to shape the perinatal mental health services as a volunteer of Helix Forum. You are not alone and life can be different. Just one step at a time.
By Helix Expert by Experience Louise